Snuggle Puppies...Where Are You?

Back again.  (You know I couldn't stay away that long!)

I know... you may be asking yourself, What was she doing up at that ungodly hour? 

Well, for those of you that know me, you know that I am a night owl...sometimes foregoing sleep until the girls are off to school and the Little Man is taking his morning nap.  Alleluia for Nap Time!  Seriously, in the darkness of night there is...

Quiet.  Stillness.  Peace.  Time.  No worry.

It's where I find myself again, and come to center.  So precious little of this kind of meditation these days, I have to swoop it up and embrace it when it does come my way.

So this morning, as I was sitting here listening to some new melodies, working on one of the many projects that scream for my attention everytime I walk by my computer desk, contemplating the Christmas liturgy, I began to let my mind wander to my children....

They have gone with my parents this weekend up to their house in the Bay Area while we put in our time at one of the many school fundraiser nights.  Volunteering for a private school should be called anything but!  This is the first time my parents have taken all the children for the weekend since Andante's diagnosis.  They will have a great time playing with their many cousins, visiting many places and people, enjoying being spoiled to the core for a day or two (ok more like 3 or 4).  I know they will have a wonderful time with Nonna & Papa, yet...

I cannot help but to worry.  Will Andante have a reaction?  Will my parents know what an anaphylactic reaction looks like?  Will they go somewhere, not realizing the potential dangers to Andante?  Will they be able to handle the pressure for more than a day?  Will everything be okay?

Obviously, I would not have let my son go without being confident that my parents will be able to handle the task.  They are extremely conscienscious of our way of life, and they have educated themselves well.  More than I can say for the other side.  Yet, I am still a ball of nerves, even if I am pretending not to be, trying to fool my own self.

It will be okay.  I know.  I just have to keep telling myself that.

The girls were a bit upset when they left.  For some reason, they actually wanted to stay home with us this weekend.  Not sure why - they usually leap frog for the chance to spend a weekend at Nonna & Papa's.  I had to give Allegra a little "you're in charge" talk, reminding her that she is the big sister, and that I need her to watch out for "the little ones" for me.  Aria, on the other hand, wasn't really buying the "you have to go with your sister because you two will be the only girls there and you might want another girl to play with" speech.  Hey, I tried.  After Rory calmed down, Ari did as well, and they seemed to be fine as my parents were ready to leave.  Andante was easy.  All you have to do is toss that boy into his car seat, and Dante will take care of the rest (sorta!).  He is managing his seatbelt somewhat now... still have to fix it properly for him, but hey... at least at 19mths, he has a lot more down pat than most! 

I am not sure what the girls' trepidations were, but hopefully, they were not too much trouble tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I am just gonna go to bed, try and catch some shut eye before my shift comes up tomorrow, and dream of my sweet babies. 

The thing I miss the most....  their scent.  Just after a bath, just after lotion, just after pj's and hair combings,... just when they are about to slip into a peaceful slumber while, I sing to them.  They snuggle in, their little hands placed ever so gentle on my chest, their scent caresses the air... and I melt.

Good night, my angels.  Thank you for being mine.

Sin makeup at 4:30a...not exactly death warmed over!  LOL!

Seriously!

TinaMarie