A Friend Indeed, Another In Need

Through out our journey, people will come in and out of our lives for a reason. Some may stay a while, some only a moment. The imprint they leave and the lessons learned from interacting with them may be great or mundane, but each has its own importance and impact on the path we are taking.

Saturday, I was shuttling my daughters between their friend's birthday parties; some overlapping another. I swear, on days like these, I could be a NY Cab Driver! At one of the parties that Aria and I attended, I knew only the hosts. Apparently, Aria's best friend was allowed to invite one friend to her family birthday party, and Aria happened to be that one friend. For a while, I politely engaged in small talk with members of the birthday girl's extended family. Then, one of the younger cousins... could not have been more than 8 or 9, asked me out of the blue to make sure that her younger brother didn't get into the egg salad because he was allergic. To her, I was the only adult in the vicinity she could ask, yet unbeknownst to her, I was JUST the person to handle the task. I noticed that the allergic child, who was the youngest of three, like Andante is, was very well adjusted to his avoidance, and his siblings were his strongest advocates, much like my girls are for their brother. Once inside, I heard the mother talking about her son's IEP (Individualized Education Plan). For those of you who do not know what one is, a simple explanation is given here. So of course, I had to ask...

We got into a discussion about our FA children, and schools, and the laws governing protection for our children, etc.. A couple of other mothers (one was a Special Ed. teacher) chimed in, and we had a really informative conversation. The one thing that blew me away was that this mother did NOT have an Epipen for her son. In fact, she didn't think that her son's allergy was that bad.

Apparently when he was a baby, he had an allergy test after an allergic reaction, and they found that he was moderately allergic to eggs, but ingestion only. Then, a year or so ago, the mom was making Portuguese sweet bread, and she allowed her kids to separate the eggs with their hands. After doing this, the little boy with FAs began to itch and wheeze. She said when she looked at her son, his entire trunk was covered in hives.

OK God... I get it! Perfect opportunity for me to change the world one person at a time. THANKS A LOT!!! (can you see the sarcasm?)

So, I proceeded to tell her about the touch part of Andante's allergy to egg, and the likelihood of her son's allergy increasing. I also stressed the point of having the Epipen. It just so happened that yesterday, I was going to take a picture of Andante's reaction off of my Blackberry so as to make room. (See the Sealing Our Fate post to view the picture I am speaking of) Something told me you are going to need to show that to someone someday soon. Huh! Little did I know.

So I did my good deed for the day. I left the party feeling like I had accomplished something in this crazy FA world. Not something that us FA parents can brag about all that often, though we really should do so more. If we really though about just how much we do daily to keep our kids safe, we "should" definitely feel accomplished, but more often than not, we feel as if we are failing them when we deny them the foods that can hurt or kill them. Logical,...No! But neither is spoiling a child, and yet...

Anyhow, I left that party with Aria, drove home, and made the switch from her to Allegra, and drove out to the next party. The family that was hosting this party, I have known for years. The mother and I were involved in teaching CCD together when I first moved back to the area. I also had two of her daughters in my music class. So I was definitely going to be comfortable at this party, sitting around with all of the other Kindergarten mother's, as we watched our daughter's enjoy their own private tea party. But that wasn't the only reason I was feeling comfortable. The Mom of the 2nd birthday party girl and I had spoke earlier in the week about the party. She said that the menu was not set in stone and she wanted to know what not to serve other than the peanut butter so that Allegra would not take home the proteins on her and potentially harm her brother. Now, this mother and I have talked minimally before about Andante's FAs, so her willingness to adapt her party for a sibling of a child with FAs came as a pleasant surprise for me.
The conversation literally brought me to tears.

How amazing that in my little corner of the world, someone other than a close friend or relative gets it? Not perfectly, but gets it! Not even my own Mother-in-law understands the ramifications of giving the girls something with one of Andante's allergens in it, and often times will argue with me about how cruel I am to deprive the children - "Andante's FAs cannot be that bad", she says.

ARGH!

It amazes me still, that in this vast and fascinating world of ours, two people came into my life and a difference was made. One, I may never see again, the other I will enjoy their friendship for a long time. Yet each left an imprint for a lifetime.


Seriously!

TinaMarie